do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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