Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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