I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
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