I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
