I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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