i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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