I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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