Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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