so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
