My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
