I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i will never coherently bang her
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
