when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
