If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I can't put those talents on a resume
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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