This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
There's always time for handjobs
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
