I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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