Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
