All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Those nachos came to me in a dream
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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