He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
