You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
