Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
