For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
