I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
