It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
