At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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