Got a toothbrush?
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
