I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
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