You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
