we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Randomize
