You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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