Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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