hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
