my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
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