His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
