We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
