So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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