I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
