I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
