Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Randomize
