She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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