I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
