if you like me you must not know who I am
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
