so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
