saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
