his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
No stitches, just platelets and will power
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
