i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
