I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
