Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
