Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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