she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
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