Those balls look pretty dangerous.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I don't deserve a penis
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
