It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
i need some magic done to my vagina
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
