did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
This is my gift to your gina
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
