You're so nebulous sometimes
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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